A couple of weeks ago I worked with a small group of manufacturing on the line trainers doing some interactive activities. The goal of this short program was to have the group take a look at themselves and how they were accepting or rejecting new members. After three-hours with the group it was pretty obvious that they were afraid. Alot of their joking around with each other served to set up a barrier to anyone not in their circle. A change was coming, they knew it and they were circling the wagons to protect themselves.

Later I found out that they didn't really like my observations and questioned my opinion. In addition they wanted to know "who did I think I was?" All of this was just another defense mechanism. All my observations were validated by the HR Director and she thought that in three-hours I had a pretty good handle on what was happening in the group.

Okay, enough of that, here's the point. When someone gives you feedback, listen to it. They are not your enemy. They don't deserve, probably, to have their credentials, or parentage questioned. They are actually doing you a favor. I'm not saying you have to believe it or act on their opinion. Just listen to it, take it in and consider it. If we react in such a way that we drive them away they may never try to help us again. While it's nice to live in our own little world where we do everything right, it probably isn't reality. I could have been totally wrong about that group, yet to summarily dismiss my observations and attempt to discredit the messanger isn't the way to go.

"It's a rare person who wants to hear what they don't want to hear." Dick Cavet

It might be rare, but if we listen it will make us better people!

Last night my oldest daughter had a small medical issue that needed attention. She was, to say the least, extremely apprehensive about anyone touching the area. That got me to thinking about pain. It seems to me there are two kinds, unnecessary and necessary. One kind is to be avoided the other should not be avoided and in fact should be sought out.

All kinds of unnecessary pain should be avoided. It is unnecessary!

Necessary pain whether it is physical, mental, or emotional should be sought out. In my daughter's case if the small wound wasn't treated it would end up much worse.  So the pain of the treatment, in the short term, leads to a better long term result. 

Enduring the short term pain to lead to a better long term result is worth it.  That short term pain is the path to getting better, learning something new, or gaining a new perspective. In short it makes us better.

Too often, and I'll admit this is just an impression; we try to avoid pain of the necessary variety. We avoid making a hard decision, we don't work out enough, we don't push ourselves to learn something new or to stretch ourselves. We avoid that pain thinking all pain is bad. It isn't! My guess is that the more you learn to lean into the good for you pain the easier it gets. Just like the more you exercise the easier it gets.

Learn to lean into the good pain!